the one with a very long and loud sigh

oh sweet relief. today i took my last final for this semester. and last final for at 

least another year. ten classes later and i'm ready for a break. Riley enters kindergarten this fall, Sammy has one more year at home (well, really in his MDO/preschool program) and i have a years worth of 

a breather. i was starting to get burnt out and i'd hate for my gpa to suffer because of that. 

during this year off from school i'm hoping to get the house under control, spend some more time with God, the boys, my husband, family, and friends. i may not be able to last the whole year without taking classes, it's an odd addiction, but we'll just take it one day at a time. 

i do plan on going back, i've got plenty of time, i hope. and if not, that's okay too. i love my job and where i work but, hey, if i have to be honest, i'd rather be working in the emergency department and i can't really do that without getting my nursing degree. can't really buy or build a house without a second income either. 

but in the meantime i am going to enjoy my break from those pesky scantron tests!!! 

(source)

the one where God humbled me

i went to work yesterday with a sore throat. i honestly can't remember the last time my throat has hurt so bad. it really wasn't that bad, i just made it seem that way. after a cup of coffee, a few cough drops, and a cup of broth i went home feeling a littler better. 

here i was, at a hospital, complaining of how bad i felt. seriously? at least i was working there and not a patient. i think they have more to complain about than me, yet there i was, making a big deal out of something quite insignificant. in the midst of me being a baby God showed me who was really hurting.

my own friends. several of them. hurting. in a more painful way than my silly sore throat. i can't help but wonder if God is using this sore throat to show me something. i bet he is. he works like that, ya know. i've always been a listening ear for my friends, i try my best to encourage them along the way but sometimes i get wrapped up in my own 'pain.' selfish, i know. i'm human. we all are. 

several of my friends have lost loved ones, some are dealing with divorce, learning to cope with a traumatic childhood...and here i am whining over a sore throat. as i said my prayers this morning i asked God to take over and heal me, then i prayed specifically for each and every one of my hurting friends. i broke down. the pain my friends are feeling is far worse than the pain of my own sickness. 

i've been there...where my friends are now. it wasn't easy and i didn't get through it all alone. God was there, my friends and family were there. and now i need to be there for my friends. i need to encourage each of them. pray for them. hold their hands. hug them. love them. just as they all did for me. just as God does every day for me. 

let's make a deal. set aside your selfishness with me and pray for those you know who are hurting. pray for those all around the world who are hurting. pray for those who are too prideful, scared, unwilling to ask for help. pray that they find comfort in our God. our Savior. our Refuge. 

ask God to bring them peace in the midst of losing a loved one. 

ask God to protect them from those who are hurting them.

ask God to give them a forgiving heart.

ask God to take away their pain.

pray

1 Peter 3:8
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and
humble.




^{James 5:13-16
13} Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. ¹⁴ Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. ¹⁵ And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. ¹⁶ Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

the one with 8 random thoughts

just some things....

1.

last week i turned in my book report. totally not proud of it. usually i think my papers are great and i work hard on them. this last one, not so much. i had great intentions but it just didn't work out. today is the day the teacher hands back our papers...graded. i'm so nervous. i've really enjoyed my religion class and my teacher is just awesome. he's a pastor at a local church and just so very sweet. very knowledgeable but not boastful. great guy.

2.

i think the kiddos are back on the mend. sammy had a blood test last week to determine if the amoxicillin was the cause of the crazy rash that i swore was chicken pox. i'm sure i drove my pedi and his office crazy with all the phone calls and questions. 

3. 

i am totally in love with my ipad. the hubster did a great job picking that gift out. he knew just what i wanted. sometimes i hate sharing it. right now the kindle app is my favorite. there are tons of free books out there. gospel ebooks is a great source for some FREE books. there's a free one just about every day.

(nope, they didn't pay me or compensate me in any way for saying that. well, maybe they did...with the free books i've gotten from them. i'll stop now!)

4.

i'm sending a very good friend of mine a special package today. i'm terrible at keeping surprises a surprise so she already knows it's headed her way. at least i haven't told her what it is...yet! 

5.

my brother-in-law and his wife are adopting from china! i am beyond excited for them and the whole family. nothing like another little one to love on. she is adorable. seriously adorable. y'all, this whole adoption process for them has God all over it. check out their story (so far) over here. my mind is going crazy with all kids of fundraising ideas. i just want to help any way i can to get this sweet baby home!

6.

for some reason i can't get the idea of a new tattoo off my mind. i can't help it. i'm addicted to ink. trying to think of a design that incorporates ryan, lela, riley, and sammy all in one without it being obnoxious. i have a few ideas, but i'm not set one just yet. 

7.

we have been visiting a new church lately and i think we might have found our home. it's so cozy there. the boys love it too. riley used to throw a fit each time we went to our other church. he even asks to go to church now. i love it. moving to a new church is quite an adjustment but the Lord has been right there with us the whole time and it just feels right. 

8.

i've found a new favorite verse. Isiah 41:13

For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

the one with 'the wall'

i'm supposed to be doing homework. but i've hit a wall. my brain isn't working 

and i just want to give up on writing this seven page paper. 

so while i was not doing my homework like i'm supposed to be doing i googled my old blog. 

the blog i had a tad bit over a year ago. apparently get the itch to blog at the same time every year. 

wonder how many other blogs i have out there in the land of www.com

speaking of walls, i found this post from january 2010. 

while my relationship with my husband is in no means strained like it appeared to be then, 

i thought would bring back this blog entry. if you take out the husband part i believe that 

many of us can relate in one way or another. 

'the wall' circa january 2010

Constructed carefully. Each brick hand picked and set myself. As tall and as wide as I want. As strong and durable as I feel necessary. This wall is my friend. Maybe my best friend. It also doubles as my counselor. I don't really talk to this wall, you see. I just throw my feelings in it's direction and I'm done.

My wall has this awesome quality of stopping whatever I throw at it from getting to the outside world. Great characteristic, I think. Though I've been told it's really not all that.

Apparently it's not so safe to make best friends with a wall. I say to those people-y'all don't know what you're missing! Really, you don't!

You see, this wall has worked great since childhood. Built by me several years ago...still standing after years of abuse. Many ugly words, physical abuse and loss upon loss. It takes it all. I really should have been a brick layer. Okay-maybe not.

After all, this wall of mine, that I built myself, isn't really there. It's just a figment of my imagination. And as I get older the game of pretend is starting to wear off. I've been fooled. By my own self. Odd.

It's taken some time to realize this. Some time that I would have rather spent building my wall much higher. Much stronger. But, I've run out of bricks. I've run out of mortar. And honestly, I don't want to go get more. It's quite expensive.

The cost of building materials have gone up. Pretty expensive now, if you ask me. This wall I talk so fondly of has become an enemy of sorts. The great job it was doing of keeping my feelings in and away from others has now started to hurt me. And those very close to me. Mainly my husband. That wall. That blasted wall.

It's time I take you down. Piece by piece. No more holding back how I feel. No more ignoring how my husband feels. No more. Wall, I love you, you've been great. But now it's time to be honest with myself. With my husband. With my family and friends.

No more relying on the wall to keep me safe.

It's God's turn.

the one full of testosterone

Riley- gentle and caring. reigning champion in the sport of throwing tantrums. best one in the house to snuggle with. high spirited yet quiet. hates to be dirty.

Samuel-afraid of nothing, me included. first to call me princess. loud and crazy. gentle in his own ways. rarely quiet. lover of dirt

i very rarely link up with other blogs, not because i don't want to but because i always 

forget and by the time i remember it's too late. 

but this time, folks, this time i remembered. 

today i am linking up over at Kelly's Korner with several other mommas out there 

who have ALL boys! this excites me. i love knowing other moms of just boys. 

there's just something special about being a mom of boys. 

(just as there is something special about having all girls. lol)

i can't tell you how much i love being the only girl in the house. they all call me princess, bring me weeds  flowers, and everything in between. they have the perfect mix of rough & tumble and sweet & gentle all at the same time. the list goes on and on. i can't tell you how many times we get asked if 

we are going to try for a girl (well, technically another girl. whole 'nother post for a whole 'nother day).

sure, we'd love to welcome a daughter into this house full of boys, dog included, but for now we totally loving a house full of testosterone....on most days! 

was trying for a cute photo shoot...this is what i got! BOYS! 

totally outnumbered and loving it! 

the one where we try to take cute easter pictures

i'm a little late in posting about Easter, i'm late about everything. 

that's just how i roll. every year i make a resolution to be on time 

more and to wake up before the kids and all that....i digress...

back to the Easter pictures.

we were all dressed up, i had a good hair day, the kids were being good (a little goofy but good!)

and we were at my in-laws so we had a great background with the pond. 

i had chad's niece, Atley, come outside and take a couple pictures for us. she did an amazing job and we 

were able to get some great pictures. some that i might actually frame and 

add to the living room! thanks Atley! 

picture #1 - the usual, Riley not wanting his picture taken and Sam sticking his tongue out

picture #2 - not there yet 

picture #3- Daddy and Sam being silly 

picture #4 - what a handsome five year old! 

picture #5 - our favorite! this couldn't describe our family any better. the boys were not going to give me a regular smile so i just rolled with it. pretty sure this is my favorite family picture!! 

picture #6 - just me!

the one where they surprised me!

this year i turned the big 3-0! 

i had hinted to my husband and a few friends that i'd love to have a surprise party but

didn't really think they would do it! 

chad is a great guy but planning parties is not something he likes to even think 

about. so glad he loves me enough to put this all together. 

i stayed home on saturday after an egg hunt with the kids to do some homework while he and the boys went to his parents. i thought they were just going out there to help his dad get some things done around the yard and let me have some quiet homework time. 

he said when they got done over there his parents would watch the kids and he and i would go on a date. about an hour after he left he called me and said that we might just do a little cookout with his parents and kids then go out. i was down with that! 

he picked me up and we drove to his parents. on the way there i was complaining that i hadn't talked to my friends much this past week. i was really bummed because i though they had all been ignoring me for some odd reason. 

we pulled into his parents driveway and as soon as we turned the corner around the garage i saw the people i thought were ignoring me. no wonder they didn't talk much that week. they all said they were afraid they would say something and let it slip. 

emily (the maker of my awesome shirt!) was out of town all week and the little goober sent me a text saying she was in town and wanted to stop by. i felt terrible for telling her i couldn't see her because chad was taking me out to dinner soon. the little goober was sitting in my in-laws backyard when she sent that. 

holly was at the store buying my gift the night i sent her a text asking her what she was up to. that turd lied to me and said she was on her way to work. 

y'all, my husband spoils me like none other but he's never gonna top this one! 

a surprise party, shrimp boil, and an ipad!

for once, i was completely and totally surprised.

lets see, in this picture you can see my in-laws at the top left, friend holly in the turquoise shirt, her daughter and hubby and son also in matching shirts! my other friend emily in the brown shirt next to me and my grandparents are on the other side of me.  love the face i'm making! so typical of me.

the totally awesome and fantastic cake my friend kara made  for me. she couldn't stay but stopped by to surprise me with. chad has a picture of the two of us together on his iphone. guess i need to add that sometime soon! 

holly checking out the moisturizer/cream my grandma made. this stuff is awesome. totally beats any $300 cream, hands down! also in this picture you see emily (with the flower in her hair!), her daughter and her husband. she made my super cool shirt. wish i had a picture of the back. it said 'spain 30' best shirt ever!! 

riley had a great time helping me open my gifts. i have no idea what we were talking about in this picture but i sure do think it's cute! 

i really try my hardest not to cry in front of people. i just don't like to. but i have to admit that i did shed some tears when i opened this one. my grandma passed on my great grandma's stethoscope that she used when she was an LPN in her early 30's. best gift ever. i love sentimental gifts and i love that she and i are both in the medical field. 

i had to add this one. i have no clue why i made this face but it's another typical tyra face...

like mother like son?

my sweet riley bear playing on a pile of firewood. 

please don't call cps on me! LOL this kid loves fire. in a dangers way. we could not keep him from playing in it. he said he was sad that the fire was out and he thought that the log was smothering it. obviously he still wanted to play in the flames.