the one where i tell y'all what i am not

y'all, i turn 30 this year. 

THIRTY! 

i'm kind of in denial about this whole turning 30 thing. not quite sure why, it's not that i feel old. 

i think it's just because there is so much emphasis put on the big 3-0 birthday. 

i may be in denial about turn 30 but i am NOT in denial about who i am. 

i used to be. and sometimes i still have some insecurities but for the most part i 

wouldn't change the me that i have become. 

this next year, the first year in my thirties, i am going to fully embrace 

who i am and not on what i'm not. 

so i did a little soul searching and have discovered a few things that i am not...

but that i am okay with not being. 

~i am not a good cook. by any means. i actually really dislike even thinking about cooking. it scares me. growing up i had zero interest in anything kitchen related. i used to wish to be the wife who loved to be in the kitchen but that's just not me. (that's why i married a man who can cook. baha!)

and i'm okay with that. 

~oh how i wish i was obsessed with keeping my house clean. but i'm not. again, this is one of those things i never had an interest in and was never made to do as a child so the cleaning bug just never attacked me. have y'all noticed a trend just within the fist two things...i am NOT a domestic goddess by any means. 

and i'm okay with that. 

~i wish a was one of those crazy-sports-fanatic-wives. the one who gets all decked out in team colors. one who knows all the rules to all the sports her husband loves. i've tried to get into it a few times but it just didn't work out. 

and i'm okay with that. 

~i really want to be a runner. so much so that sometimes i think i actually am. i look at running magazines, websites, blogs, shoes, running gear...everything. i did run a 5k so at one point i was. and one day i will be again. but right now a runner i am not. 

and i'm okay with that. 

~i've always dreamt of homeschooling our children. i still really want to. but right now they are both doing well in a public and private preschool setting. they love it.

and i'm okay with that. 

~as a child i just knew that i was going to be a teacher. as time went by i changed my mind and decided i wanted to be a nurse when i grew up. i am currently in school taking all my pre and co-reqs to get into the nursing program. but my husband and i (prayerfully) decided i would take a year off from school to focus more on our family and home. 

and i'm okay with that. 

~in school i had just a few close friends. in junior high and high school i used to pray that God would bless me with many more friends. as i grew older and wiser i realized that i didn't really want more friends at all. i'm a hermit, y'all. so the fewer friends the better. (baha!) i have a wonderful handful of friends that i couldn't be more thankful for.

and i'm okay with that. 

~i want so badly to be good with words. both spoken and written. i have a habit (sometimes good, sometimes bad) of just blurting things out before they go through any sort of filter. that's just who i am.

and i'm okay with that.